There are some certain things you need to know about your boyfriend’s attitude towards you and your relationship. To keep your bond strong, you have to get wise to these totally-guy love behaviors. Take a peek into the male mind so you can comprehend him.
You love the guy and feel like you pretty much know him and all of his quirks, and yet inevitably, your boyfriend does things during the course of the relationship that make you go “Huh?” That’s because there are guy-unique love habits you’re not privy to. Men in relationships have a different code of behavior than women do. And they’re not conscious of these innate traits, so it’s not like they could tell you what makes them tick even if they wanted to. But forget trying to change your guy. It’s not going to happen.
The more serious a relationship gets, the less a man will reassure you.
When you and your sweetie were in the early stages of romance, he might have randomly shown up at your door with flowers or called to check in while he was out with the boys. Nowadays, you have to nudge him to pick up something for your birthday. What gives? Well for one, back then, Mr. Smooth was trying to woo you. “During courtship, a man will pull out all the stops to win you over. At the same time, he’ll gauge your reactions to these overtures for affirmation that the feelings are mutual. Once he’s certain you’re smitten, he doesn’t need to conduct these little love tests anymore. When a man is confident his relationship is solid, he enters a comfort zone. He’ll stop doing those extras because he doesn’t need them and assumes you don’t either. Unfortunately, this leaves you feeling insecure. Relax. You can get the reassurance you need if you learn to look for it in other ways. Men are more likely to rely on simple day-to-day actions rather than sweeping romantic gestures to say ‘I love you,’. But if you’re not looking for these subtle signs, they’re easy to miss. Guys always want to have sex with you…even in the midst of a fight. The reason guys are always up for action — even if you’re not on speaking terms — is because sex and relationship satisfaction are not the same thing for them. Most men are masters at compartmentalizing their feelings. For women, emotions run on a continuum.
Men love the little things you do. They just won’t ever admit it.
You love it when your guy goes out of his way for you. Here’s the flip side: He feels equally adored — and appreciative — when you go the extra mile for him. He just won’t ever let on. It’s not that he doesn’t take note of what you do for him; he does but gushing doesn’t come naturally to men. Think about it: A guy would never say to one of his boys: “guy, it was really thoughtful of you to buy me a beer last night.” Guys probably think it’s a given that they are grateful. Their men logic: “Who doesn’t enjoy having nice things done for them?” So stop waiting for a reaction, let alone a thank-you, and keep doing those little things that make you both feel so good.
He may act like a tough guy, but he secretly wants to be babied.
Babe loves that her boyfriend is a real guys’ guy. “He has this sexy Russell Crowe thing going on — a kind of don’t-mess-with-me masculinity that I’m totally attracted to. So imagine your surprise when you witnessed him taken down by...the common cold. The truth is, the fact that your man can lift heavy objects doesn’t erase the fact that he still wants to be fussed over on occasion. All guys are basically kids at heart, deep down, they want to be taken care of, and who can blame them? On some level, don’t we all? Choose little gestures that pamper him but don’t compromise yourself.
He won’t warn you if the relationship is on the rocks.
Guys don’t spend a ton of man-hours pondering the state of your union or analyzing its ups and downs. Men tend to let the little things that irritate them build and build and build without saying a word, because they don’t want to deal with the whole relationship drama. Then suddenly, their frustrations snowball and they go into crisis mode, ready to end things. As a result, it’s truly the woman’s responsibility to take the pulse of the relationship. That doesn’t mean neurotically cornering your guy for a sit-down chat every time you get the slightest twinge things may be heading south. But if you sense your man’s acting really removed, check in. we suggest saying something like “Sweetie, I love spending time with you, but lately, you seem preoccupied. What would make you happier?” If you keep things light and upbeat, he’s more likely to be receptive. If you’re still stumped weeks later, have the full-on powwow. Wait until you’re somewhere where eye contact can be kept to a minimum so he feels less threatened. (Think walking side by side instead of sitting across from each other at dinner.) Then ask him straight-out where you stand. You deserve answers, after all.
“I Wish I Hadn’t Heard That”
When he should’ve zipped his lips he says things that make you think otherwise of him and your relationship. Things like:
“I never would have known that my new boyfriend had hair plugs if he hadn’t come clean. Now I’m too freaked out to even go near his head.” —shares Maureen
“After meeting my mom, the guy I was seeing commented on her weight and actually suggested that I better watch myself. I wanted to hurt him!” —Ada, 24
“Before proposing to me, my ex-fiancé let slip that the diamond ring wasn’t entirely paid for and it was a real stretch for him financially. How romantic!” —Lara 19
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