Gender Differences in Communication Styles

Men and women communicate differently. Men tend to think in linear terms, carrying on a conversation as though it’s a mathematical equation. This plus this equals that; end of story. When two men communicate, one man speaks at a time, conveying his specific concept. When he’s finished, the other man pauses and then adds his perspective.

Women communicate on a broader scale, weaving several concepts together into one grand design. When two women converse, they share ideas back and forth, often without pausing. It’s a dance where two women find a common rhythm for their words to flow between each other.

It’s no wonder  women and men communicate differently, given our historical background. In the hunting and gathering days, men were genetically prepared for stalking prey. To do this, men had to be able to focus on one thing at a time and tune out all other distractions. Women, on the other hand, were back at the fort raising children. Their senses were fine tuned for focusing on the task at hand while at the same time being aware of any nearby danger or approaching predators. Hence, women’s ability to multitask and men’s difficulty in following a detailed, elaborate conversation.

Add to the mix that women have been raised to nurture, soothe and comfort while men are traditionally raised to solve problems and keep emotions hidden. Communicating with your spouse is like speaking two different languages. 

How to communicate with a woman

Allow her to vent. If your wife is upset, all she may need is to express her feelings. Rather than trying to solve her problems, offer her your ear of support. Once she feels heard, she will naturally cool down 

It’s her nature, she talks more 

Realize that it’s a fact of life that women use twice as many words as men do. Don’t be frustrated by it. Find her solutions, or the two of you can brainstorm together.

Listen with your whole body. When a woman speaks, she’s not just conveying words; she’s communicating emotion, tone and meaning. Don’t just listen with your ears; listen with all of your senses. What does her body say? She may be saying she’s fine, but does she look fine or does she look sad or angry. What feelings and sensations are triggered in you as she speaks? What is your intuition telling you? Don’t just take her at her word – read her body language and tone.

Ask for clarification. 

If you’re confused by what she says or how her words don’t match her tone or body language, ask her how she feels. Tell her what you see or sense (in a non-judgmental way, but with curiosity) and ask her if this is true for her. Show a deeper interest in what she is trying to convey.

Speak from your heart 

Women like to connect on a heart and soul level. When you converse with your wife, step out of your analyzer and into your heart. Along with sharing your ideas and thoughts, share your feelings, passions and longings. Share personal stories from the perspective of how you felt, what was triggered in you, what you learned, and how you grew as a result of the experience.

Allow the conversation to flow 

Let go of the need to fully complete your thought or story picture. Allow your wife to interject with her thoughts and ideas, trusting that you will get an opportunity to pick up where you left off. Enjoy the flow of conversation more than your opinions, and communication with your spouse will be effortless. Are you tired of having conversations with your guy and they seem to go nowhere? Here is a great list of five different ways to improve communication with your man.

Women should follow these ideas and techniques:

Nagging worsen communication

Don’t go about nagging and screaming the whole house down in order to get him to listen or interact with you, If you go on and on that way, he will not grab a single word from your screaming voice, he will get worked up and things will end up even getting worse.

Good timing 

Make sure that the time that you are choosing to talk about whatever is important to you are appropriate. If he is in the middle of watching the big game or just got home from work, he is less likely to listen attentively. Choose a time without distractions to discuss it.

Don’t bore him with too many details It’s important to give him all the details that make the story or situation make sense, but try to refrain from adding too much extra information. Keep it as short and sweet as possible, while still getting your point across. Try to talk less. Most men are bottom-line oriented and will be better listeners if you get to the point quicker. 

Show him the importance Make sure he knows that this conversation is important to you. He may not realize the seriousness or importance this subject has for you.

Don’t get angry with him if he doesn’t understand why you are upset

If kemi at work said an offensive comment to you at lunch and you’ve been brewing on it all day, your guy may not be able to relate. Men are not as easily agitated by other people’s rudeness as women.

      Please keep in mind that a slight communication problem between you and your guy isn’t his fault or yours. Just try to meet each other in the middle and compromise. With time, communication between the two of you will flow more smoothly and eventually you will both talk to each other in a way that works for both of you

Real names of Naija top Entertainers and their

Sound Sultan

Olanrewaju Fasasi

Olanrewaju Fasasi, aka Sound Sultan is an R&B artiste from Nigeria. He is also called Naija Ninja, which embodies exuberance and energy. His music is influenced by rap, rhythm and blues, Afro-pop, etc. He classifies his style as Jagbanjantis. He has always been into music and acted in his secondary school days. He has an elder brother in the industry too, called Baba De

9ice 

Abolore Adegbola Akande

9ice is a south-westerner from Ogbomoso, Oyo State, but grew up in the district of Bariga, Lagos. He attended Abeokuta Primary School and CMS Grammar School, but dropped out from his Law course at the Lagos State University, LASU to concentrate on music. He grew up in a polygamous home of five wives and nine children. His parents found out about his singing career a year after it started in 2000. Before then, 9ice wrote his own songs, dating back to when he was just 14 years old. It is worth noting that as a big fan of Pasuma Wonder, he kick-started his singing career with Fuji music. 

Bouqui, Bukola Afolayan

She strikes you as weird because she craves to be different. Her hairstyle contributes to her strange look. Yet, she is one of the top Nigerian artistes. On her debut, B.OU.Q.U.I as she’s more fondly called, made her intention clear. She’s on the Lord’s side. Born Bukola Afolayan, the daughter of a Bio-Chemist professor and professor-teacher mother, the Obafemi Awolowo University graduate started out as a broadcaster with the Eko.FM, Lagos. But today, she’s respected as one of the leading female rap artistes in the industry with many awards in the kitty.

Brymo

Ashimi Olawale

Ashimi Olawale ‘’Brymo’’ was Born in Lagos in 1986, he is the only child of a carpenter father and a petty trader mother. He was raised in a suburb of Okokomaiko in Lagos State. Like most ghetto kids, he grew up in a community where opportunities were hard, but despite all the hardship, his parents ensured that he got an average education, and a good upbringing. He attended Aganju Primary School, Okokomaiko, Lagos between 1990-1997. He later attended Ajangbadi High School from 1997-2003. Olawale gained admission into Lagos State University, LASU in 2007 where he studied Zoology. In 1999, Olawale wrote his first chorus at age 14. In 2002, he came together with three other friends and they started a band called ALIENS.

Darey

Dare Art Alade

Multiple award-winning and Multiple Platinum selling urban R&B singer, musician, songwriter, music producer and entrepreneur, Darey, is not one to depend on the legacy of his late father; the legendary African Jazz musician and entertainer, Art Alade. For 15 years and counting, the multi-talented act, has been a disc jockey, TV presenter, master of ceremonies, entertainment consultant, voice over artist, performing/recording artist, entrepreneur and philanthropist. 

Whether performing alongside the world’s finest superstars such as Beyonce, Jay Z, Kelly Rowland, Snoop Dogg, John Legend, Lionel Richie, Sean Paul, Rihanna, Usher, Akon and Shakira; or hosting events attended by World leaders and top dignitaries, such as past U.S Presidents, George W. Bush and Bill Clinton, former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair and President Goodluck Jonathan of Nigeria, one thing is certain; Darey is a consummate perfectionist.

DJ Zeez 

Kingsley Elikpo

Kingsley Elikpo who goes by the stage name, ‘DJ-ZEEZ’ is not only a singer but also a song writer, actor, music producer & a former disc jockey. The name ‘ZEEZ’ is from the urban meaning of ‘cool/so sick’ or ‘sickly cool’ which he believes himself to be a reflection of ‘Hot’ on stage & ‘cool’ off stage. Known for his unique blend of Afro pop/dancehall music, he sings not only in Yoruba but also in English, Igbo & pidgin. With every hit track, he leaves us with a slang that catches on like wildfire. 

Faze 

Richard Chibuzor Orji

Richard Chibuzor Orji, also known as Faze, was an original member of the Nigerian R&B group, Plantashun Boiz with 2Face Idibia and Blackface, who have all pursued and excelled in their solo careers. Some of his hit songs include Miss u, Play Games, Na True, All of my days, Angel Gabriella, Kolomental, Alphabetic.

Mocheddah

Modupe Ola 

In 2008, the Nigerian music industry was introduced to a new musical prodigy: Mo’Cheddah. She grew up in the centre of Lagos, Nigeria, in the hustle and bustle of Fola-Agoro, Akoka (a.k.a. F.A.). Modupe-Oreoluwa Ola, aka Mo’Cheddah is most widely known for her exceptional performance on the song and video of the hit track The Finest (Won Beri).

Naeto C 

Naetochukwu Chikwe

Born December 17, in Houston Texas. He spent his earlier years growing up in England and Nigeria within a household, hugely influenced by music. Naeto attended the prestigious Atlantic Hall Secondary School, Epe, Lagos State and later moved to the United States of America to further his higher education in SUNY Old Westbury, and a year later, George Washington University. While in the states, Naeto linked up with Uzikwendu and his brother, Ikechukwu, an up and coming hip hop artist to form the World Famous Akademy, an aspiring Record Label. In the States, Naeto C recorded over 40 to 50 songs as a solo artist and about 25 songs with the World Famous Akademy as a group. He graduated in 2004 with a B Sc. in Biology.

Sasha

Anthonia Yetunde Alabi

Sasha, who is regarded as the “First Lady” of Nigerian Hip Hop has remained the most consistent and visible female artist in Nigeria in a very long time. With the success of her debut album: First Lady and support from her record label STORM, she has continued to increase her dedicated fan base and has been nominated for various awards at home and abroad. Sasha won the “Best female artist” award at the Women in entertainment awards held in England with her first single titled: Adara.

Olamide

Olamide Adedeji

Born Olamide Adedeji on  March 15, in Bariga Lagos, Olamide fell in love with rap music early in his primary school days. Soon, he discovered he also had the talent to rap and began to nurture that talent in the year 2000. Since then, he has featured in songs like Im grateful by Maiojoe, Take me there by Jahbless and he has dropped some nostalgic lines on the collaborative track between him, Zara, and Adol called: Naija Hail. Olamide has performed live on big stages all over Nigeria and he is most definitely, a street favourite. It is safe to say, the streets love him and he loves them back. His music is gaining serious mass appeal and his rap style is being enjoyed by many.

Jazzman, Olumuyiwa Olofinkuade  

An indigene of Ikere Ekiti, Jazzman Olofin was born Olumuyiwa Olofinkuade. Tagged: Mr. Funky, he was a member of X-Appeal, where he later went solo with the release of his first album, Boiling point,  a hit with blazing hot tracks like Raise da roof and Shekabere. He has churned out monster hits such as Shake somethin and Omoshalewa’’ and others. 

A black man’s hairstyle makes a bold statement about his personal style. If you’re a black man, with messy, unkempt or damaged hair will make a person perceive you as someone who doesn’t care about the way he looks. Dryness, fragility, style and hair loss are all real and viable concerns an African man faces.

Choose a style

Choose a hairstyle that speaks to you as a black man, that works with your face shape and that is easy to maintain with the type of hair that you have. 

Shampoo less

Shampooing too often can cause short, black hair to become dry and brittle. This is because most retail shampoos contain a chemical called sodium lauryl sulfate, or SLS. SLS is a detergent responsible for cleaning and bubbling the hair. Unfortunately, it can also strip the hair of natural oils that protect it, leaving it dried and prone to breakage, If possible, shampoo your hair only once or twice weekly to retain the natural oils in your hair or choose a shampoo that is SLS-free.

Moisturize daily

Your hair needs to be moisturized daily, whether shampooed or not, to replenish hydration that is lost through dry conditions or indoor heating. Simple oil can be applied to the roots of your hair to make your hair look softer and help you avoid flakes and dry scalp. Try sweet almond or coconut oil; apply a little to your fingertips and run your hands through your hair to distribute evenly. Apply a little oil each day, especially when your hair feels dry or brittle to the touch.

Product selection

Choosing products that are specifically made for black men can help you get healthier, better looking hair. Most retail products readily available in drugstores are formulated for the smoother hair shafts of a Caucasian individual. Your hair is generally brittle and kinky, which is why you need to use products specifically for black men, Look for products free of alcohol and other drying ingredients and rich in oils

    

Pomades

Pomades are incredibly versatile, offering a wet, shiny look while maintaining a pliable hold. Though not right for fine hair, they’re perfect for sleek, well-groomed styles or shorter, texturized styles. They also give shine and separation to long hair.

     

How to use

1. Apply a small amount to the palm of your hand and rub hands together until product warms.

2. Work product through slightly damp to dry hair, going from ends to root. moisturizers. 

Creams

Styling creams are often the best choice for men who need something in their hair, but don’t want to look like it. They offer a lighter finish; some shine and are quite adept at controlling fly a ways and helping to neaten shorter styles.

How to use:

1. Wash hair and smooth cream into wet or dry hair.

2. If you have fine hair, use a very small amount to avoid a greasy look.

Hair sprays 

Hair sprays are first-rate options for guys with thin or thinning hair. These sprays create the illusion of volume and can lock a style in place. The majority of men should avoid using heavy hairsprays that often weigh hair down -- and instead pick a lighter formula. 

How to use

Hold the bottle approximately six to eight inches from the head and lightly mist over hair.

2. Place hand over your forehead as though you are saluting a more-perfect version of yourself. This will help keep product away from the forehead and eyes.

3. Don’t put on a hat

Gels 

Gels are usually the best option to create a wet, sleek look. Quality gels will have “memory” once dry, enabling comb-through that can provide a structured, yet dry appearance. Cheap supermarket gels tend to break and flake off in the hair, so it’s important to get the good stuff.

Gels usually come in firm or light hold, so choosing the right gel is key. Since a firm hold gel will weigh down fine hair, “fine” men should use a light hold product. For thick, course hair, a light hold gel won’t offer enough control and thus a firm gel is the proper choice.

How to use:

1. Work into wet hair, comb and let dry naturally for a wet look.

2. Use on drier hair to hold a style in place.

3. Put in wet hair, blow dry and add more to lock strands in place.

4. Reactivate when needed by wetting hands and running through hair.

I studied Martial Arts with Jackie Chan – John Fashanu

For those who have been following his antecedents, it is obvious that he is a man on a mission. What many do not understand however, is his interest and involvement, in diverse issues. His dynamism and multi-tasking nature, has seen him come under serious scrutiny in many quarters. Many wonder what he is trying to achieve, considering his friendship with top politicians in the land. So, what really is his motive? Is he veering into politics, ultimately seeking political office?

Hear him: “Thank you for your resilience, being able to track me down for this interview. You know, we are all politicians. Everybody is a politician because that is what makes Nigeria go round. If you say you’re not a politician or you’re not into politics, then you can’t be in business; because even the smallest business transaction has a political motive. 

However, I’m not in running for elective positions like the Senate, House of Reps or governorship. But I work with leaders; that is what I do, it’s my job,” he insists.

Is John Fashanu saying if he is offered a political appointment he would turn it down? “Well, if you’re appointed, which is very unlikely; because to be a Senator or an honourable, you have to vie for it, then that means that God has a hand in it. To attain some of these positions, you have to run for election and get democratically elected. If somebody appoints you a member of the Presidential Task Force, glory be to God. I was appointed a member of the Presidential Task Force in 2010. Working with President Goodluck Jonathan was great! It was wonderful! That was an appointment, nobody else had a say in it,” he says.

What if he’s offered appointed as a minister? “That would be fine. I’m at that level now. I’ve worked hard, I’ve travelled round the world, I’ve garnered enough experience, so if it comes, why not. Be that as it may, that is not really my position.” So, what really is his position? “Basically, I work with leaders and of course, when you’re in Abuja, the Federal Capital Territory, where the seat of government is; where the big action is, where the lights are flashing, that’s where you get noticed. 

“The project I’m handling in Jos, which was commissioned last week by his Excellency, the Governor Jonah Jang and the Speaker, Plateau State House of Assembly is worth N5 billion. That of Abuja is a N10 billion project. You cannot get those contracts or get near those people unless you get close to the leaders,” he submitted.

So, it’s not about seeking position, but contributing quota to the overall well-being and development of the nation. “Well, you see, we’ve always been making contributions. You know, making a difference, changing people’s lives. There’s no point going back to all those charities we’ve been involved with and those things we’ve done for humanitarian reasons and as a result of my being an ambassador for the United Nations, UNICEF and all that. 

“That’s all in the past. We’re moving forward now; we’re trying to change and affect people’s lives for the better. You can only do this if you have got one of two things - power or money. If you have both, then it’s a blessing. You need power or money to make things happen.”

Talking about these academies, it would do the people a whole lot of good if they had a clearer picture of their outlook and general disposition. 

According to him, “the academy in Jos is a privately owned academy by companies, foundations; at no charge or cost to the state government. The one in Abuja is exactly the same, named: Goodluck/Fashanu International Sports Academy. We went, (my wife and I) to America and invited Mike Tyson to chair the boxing aspect, and the Williams’ Sisters to chair the tennis. 

“My dear brother, Linford Christie, seven-time Olympics gold medallist, will be coming to chair the athletics side of things. Fashanu, Jay-Jay Okocha and Nwankwo Kanu, three of the international names in Nigeria, and I would say, the biggest, would oversee football. So, it’s an international project.

The one in Jos is meant for the people of Plateau State, same way that of Abuja is for those in the Federal Capital Territory and the surrounding states. Each one will have a capacity to host one thousand students each. Our aim is to help restore peace to Plateau State where there is anger, bitterness, confusion and killings; we’re out to resolve to restore what has been lost,” he says.

“The Speaker of the House made agreed that this is a very wonderful project and that were out to restore, rebuild and bring people together and I firmly believe that we’ll do just that. The governor, a fortnight ago, reinstated his commitment to seeing that the project was concluded before the end of his tenure in office; so you can see the trappings of what we’re doing. It is not political in any sense, but giving back and doing what we know best, having spent two decades in the world of sports and as a high profile media man,” he reinstated.

He didn’t mention the academy in kwara. “Oh yes, we’re just about taking over the running of the academy in Kwara State. If the government is paying N5m, N10m or N20m monthly to run the academy and they’ve been doing that for the last six years; that’s means it’s not working. Because an academy should be self-financing, that is why you they sell the youths like commodities. They don’t want to stay there for the rest of their lives. 

“They want to go there as the first step in their educational pursuit, primary school, secondary school, the university and even higher. Our job is to bring in finance and ensure that the project self-financing. It amounts to taking away the burden from the state government. Kwara State is a very interesting project, the governor has been wonderful. He has done a great job, but I think now it’s time to take the load off his back.”

It was alleged that Fashanu accused Bob Minton and former President Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida (IBB), of stealing money and siphoning it out of Nigeria. It is also believed in some quarters that he has a personal score to settle with IBB. How does he react to this? Okay, you mean the 2007 debt buy back explosion. The accusations had nothing to do with his Excellency, ex-president Ibrahim Babangida. Babangida has been a personal, wonderful daddy to me for many, many years. 

“When it was published in the papers that John Fashanu accused IBB of stealing, I felt bad because it was not true at all. Bob Minton was the person responsible for transferring billions of Nigerian money out of the country. It had to with the debt buy-back, we know that because the allegation has been proved and we have documents, if anyone cares to read. And as they are in certain high places now, nobody can refute that. However, to say that IBB was a thief and that he stole money, that is not true, totally incorrect,” he stated. 

“The person who wrote the story was just a wonderful Nigerian journalist, who just added a little more of himself. When I read the story, I picked up the phone and humbly, apologised to his wife, the late Maryam, and then, His Excellency, for the misinformation. 

He humbly and wonderfully accepted my apologies. I was was humbled in the end because of the way he accepted my apologies.” He continued.

“Then a few months later, I went to spend a day and have lunch with him. So, that was a story that made a wonderful headline - ‘John Fashanu accuses his good daddy, IBB of Stealing’, but it was absolutely incorrect. As for Bob Minton, I stand by what I said. I spent substantial amount of my money to investigate the matter because I had spare money then. Why? Because I wanted to find out the truth.”

Many remember too well his ambition to head the Nigeria Football Association (NFA), now Nigeria Football Federation (NFF). However, many were left bemused at the way and manner with which the whole episode turned out. Could he throw more light on this? “Yes, I came back to Nigeria and tried to become the Chairman of the Nigeria Football Association (NFA). 

“I believed I had something to offer and that I stood a very good chance of turning things round for the better. I spent N14m in the process; I didn’t ask for money from anyone and I knew I had done all that needed to be done and was sure that I stood a good chance to win. 

Now, I have never told anyone this before now…so this is an exclusive information you’re privy are about to get from me.’’ 

“On the eve of the election, I was in my hotel room when I heard a knock on my door. I opened and “some powerful people” stepped in. They asked me to step down and discontinue with my ambition to become the chairman of the NFA. I thought of it and decided pull out. I asked who their choice was and they told me it was Alhaji Galadima. When Galadima became the chairman and he assured me that he would make me Chairman of Nigeria Football League,” he says. 

“I tell you, his word is his bond. To this day, I have utmost respect for Galadima. He made me the Chairman of the League in the whole of Nigeria. When I eventually reported for work, they gave me a key to a room that didn’t exist. No car, no funds, no nothing, no ideas, all in a bid to discourage me. I could see there were too many terrible situations. Everything you asked met with refusal. I just decided to pack it up. I paid for my ticket to Nigeria from England, where I was still living then. It didn’t take me long to realise that this wasn’t working.”

Did they know he was still based in England? Could that have been a factor that worked against him? “Oh yes, they knew. Never for once, did I ask for my money to be paid back. They thought I should be living in Nigeria. But there were too many things that were happening that were enough to discourage me, a young man who was just coming in. It was a good experience for me though; I looked at Galadima, shook hands with him and told him this is not for me. 

“I’ve been blessed, God has blessed me, I was a child star of football and I’ve travelled round the world three times and I didn’t want to be struggling at my young age with people who did not want to work with me, so I left. That was the end of my experience with the NFA. But what a wonderful experience it was for me, I enjoyed it and I have no regrets whatsoever. If the opportunity comes again, I will vie for the NFF chairmanship because I strongly advocate that ex-footballers should have preferential treatment when it comes running the NFF,” he concludes.

Football sure runs in his veins, doesn’t it? According to him, “I’ve been in football for over two decades, played over 2,000 matches, scored over 500 goals. So, I’m not a new boy, I’m a journey man. I was the first black man to buy a football club in the world – the name of the club is Barry Town in Ireland. The only black man to have, not only; fully and comprehensively bought a football club anywhere in the world but to have also run it for two years. The experience I had on the technical side was unprecedented. But coming back home, they say that’s not good enough- you’re no good. 

“So, you end up doing something meaningless but since ideas rule the world, that is why we are doing what we’re doing with our sport academies; not football academies. Why I say that is that: To run a successful project in this country, you need international experience because our academies are reaching out to the international market. That is why I say football agents; all of them in this country are devils. Why? Because they eat your money and they eat your time, promising what they cannot do.’’

“Oh the boy is going to Russia! He’s going to Poland! He’s going to Holland! Four years later, the boy is still at home, sucking his mother’s breasts, he’s doing nothing and now, he’s 27. That cannot go on! That cannot go on in the western world. I’m not comparing the western world with what is happening here,.I’m just telling you the difference. I must tell you I prefer it here in my country. I have a choice, God gave me a choice. I could stay in my five-star palatial house in St. Johns Wood in London or I could come here and stay in my houses in Sun City or Asokoro- this is where my wife is, where my kids are; it’s where I’m relaxed. 

“So, I have a choice, I’m lucky, that’s not being arrogant, it’s just a fact and I choose to be home. England was my base and I made it a very comfortable base. But now, I’m back home, and working so that everybody succeeds. I support what President Jonathan, because he’s been doing some wonderful things. I’m a very practical person but not a politician. That does not mean I don’t have a voice. I have a voice and I think I’ve earned my voice,” he enthuses.

The philanthropic and humanitarian role he played in restructuring the Zambian national soccer team after the ill-fated plane crash, which claimed 24 lives of both players and officials of the Chipoloplo; leading to the 1994 Nations Cup in Tunisia cannot be forgotten in a hurry. Would he like to throw light on the unfortunate incident? 

“Oh! Wonderful support! Got them together, a new team, a new coach and then, we got to the quarter finals against Nigeria.” The Zambian team, against all odds, got to the final actually, before losing to Nigeria.

“Oh! My God! Final! They also scored first… (Cuts in) “You see, this is what we’re talking about here, humanitarian service. 24 people died in a plane crash. I used my money to bring people to Zambia, went to meet the president. He asked me to help them, assist them. Their national team had been wiped out! I didn’t take money from the Zambian government. I organised matches, travelled all over Zambia. I didn’t know they were going to do so well and get to the final. But if I chose the right team and they got to the final, you’re supposed to say, ‘well done, Fashanu’, he said.”

Perhaps, this why he is seen as someone whose allegiance is divided, right? “Of course not, this was something I did for God. I brought in a new coach. The team did so well and on top of that, some of the boys were in the team that went on to win the Cup of Nations in the 2012 edition. So, I’m proud of them.”

It sounds like the Ambassador still maintains a healthy relationship with the Zambians. He said: “Wonderful, healthy relationship. Recently in our church, about 300 Zambians turned up and the first thing they chorused was: ‘Look at John Fashsnu’. I’m happy that I did something. I didn’t steal money, didn’t take money, but I put my own money in. I didn’t do it because I wanted to be paid. I did it because I’m a humanitarian and I believe that what I did was right. I’m not a pastor, but I try to do what is right and I expect others to do the same to me.”

 How is his relationship with Joseph Yobo, now that he is Adaeze’s (his wife) step-father? Well, do they get along? “Oh, Joseph Yobo is a great guy. Having been Super Eagles captain, and one of the highest capped players, and as an in-law...” He is the highest capped now. “Yes, he is a record breaker.  He is a great guy and we really get on well.  I am very proud.”

Could he comment on the Nigerian captain’s disagreement with the coach, Stephen Keshi? The coach is saying Yobo is no longer fit to play for the Super Eagles? Keshi never said Joseph Yobo is not good enough. What he said was that: ‘At this point in time, he doesn’t fit into the formation’. That is completely different.” 

Being an ex-footballer, how would he interpret this statement? “It means he can still play whenever he fits in. But that is what the coach said. We are playing a 4-4-2, so may be that wonderful player doesn’t fit into the formation.  He is still a great player.”

Is this similar to the fate he suffered when he came to play for Nigeria back then? “Thank you! Did anyone say I wasn’t a good player? They said you don’t fit in, Ambassador Fash.  You are not playing the way we play and all our players are getting confused! When they kick the ball on the floor, you want it in the air. When you run to the right, they run to the left. But you are still a great player, son.”

So, is he refuting allegations that he turned down Nigeria when the nation needed him the most, preferring rather, to feature for the Three Lions of England. “That is not true at all. I paid my way down to Nigeria on several occasions and actually, trained with the senior national team but was never selected because my style was the robust, quick, fast-paced English football. You know, with quick dashes off the blocks, ball in the air, power-packed, shoves here and there… and it just didn’t fit in. The Nigerian style was the slow, build up type Brazilian football.

“The coach, Otto Gloria told me that I was good, but the players were confused with my style. I would be dashing towards the right and they would be running to the left. He advised me to go back and focus on my game in Europe. Even when Clemens Westerhof was in charge, I sent him letters and I know he got them because they were signed for. I was the second highest goal scorer in the Premier League and since Nigeria wasn’t forthcoming, England gave me a shot. Believe me; I had exhausted my options to feature for this great country.”

But the difference is that Yobo has been in the team. “This is different.  Maybe as we won the Cup of Nations, Keshi wants to change the formation.  Keshi wants to use younger players.  He doesn’t want to use the older players – they have been successful, and he wants to introduce new blood.”

A lot of people are of the opinion that Keshi is unable to relate with big players. “Oh, if that was the case, he wouldn’t have won the Cup of Nations.” He did drop some big players, didn’t he? “But we won. That was the most important thing. He dropped players whom he perceived to be giving issues, challenges to the other players. He dropped one or two big players, but equally included other big players. What Keshi has been wonderful at, is merging local players with the international players.  

“I tell you, that isn’t an easy challenge. Joseph Yobo is my in-law, and he is a wonderful person and as a football player, his record and performances would speak for him. I haven’t gone into the nitty-gritty, but you must have maximum respect for Joseph Yobo and Stephen Keshi. So, we don’t want a clash of the heads but to get in-between and resolve what challenge they are having. I am sure we would resolve it. As a member of the Presidential Task Force, I am sure we would be called very soon and I believe that they would resolve it themselves.”

Could Fash throw more light on the Presidential Task Force (PTF), and its activities? A lot of people are of the opinion that they are doing more harm than good and that they are only after the welfare of the Super Eagles; to the neglect of the other national football teams. Do they still exist? “Presidential Task Force was formed under the late President Umaru Yar’Adua and there was a purpose for it, that is to support and assist the NFA.  

“The NFA was having challenges just before the World Cup that involved the Super Eagles, no other team. We went to work and most people commended us, even though we lost and were kicked-out of the World Cup but we brought peace, understanding back to the NFA and the Super Eagles. They needed a bridge between the two organisations.  Things were not working. We did that harmoniously. We raised N500m to build the new Glass House which is owned by the NFA. A lot of hard work went into raising money for that, so we achieved two feats. 

“Our chairman, Gov. Rotimi Amaechi has just been so busy as Chairman of the Governors’ Forum. At the moment, things are working well. Nobody needs to change the Will if everything is going well. No one said it was a waste of money because we were the ones that raised the money. We have been able to erect a new NFF building – Glass House. It was raised by one organisation called the Presidential Task Force, led by Amaechi. He has done a wonderful job. He is very disciplined and strict. It has worked. We are quiet at the moment because there is no need to make noise,” he explains.

One aspect that generated a lot of controversy was when, many years ago, his brother, Justin, confessed to being gay and after a series of events, took his own life, by hanging himself. Fashanu’s daughter, Alana, who was doing a documentary on gay footballers in England some years ago, came across information suggesting that her dad had not stood by his late brother during the tough period, leading to his unfortunate demise, and was said to be unhappy with her dad. What is his take on all of these? “My daughter is my daughter and I love her.  She is currently a model, presenter in the UK. My brother is my brother and I love him. Apart from that, I don’t comment on that.

For a man who comes across a lot people every day, what does he look out for in people? “I assess people’s characters. That is one thing I do with my football academy. You spend seven days in my house in Sun City where I evaluate your character. I have become very good at doing it. Evaluating character is one of the hardest things to do, but one of the most rewarding, because it gives you an idea when you help a footballer who would come as a beggar to your house with no finance at all, no parents and take him to one of the biggest clubs in the world and in six weeks, he wouldn’t take your calls again.

“Because I evaluate people, I know the ones who will do that and those who wouldn’t; which is very important. But because we always have ideas, our house is never empty – if it is not a Senator, it would be an Honourable, or any other important personality. They are always coming because we have ideas. My wife is a barrister. She has been in the bar for 20 years, so she’s no pushover. We work on all projects together. This confirms the old adage that: ‘Two heads being better than one’,” he says.

Does he have any dislikes? “You learn to take the good and the bad. I don’t like women who have harsh tongues. I don’t like violent men.” But you are into martial arts? “I am a martial arts man. I have been for 16 years.” What kind of martial arts? “Many. I studied for 16 years with Jackie Chan. I rose to the level of having three black belts, third degree. I am also a marksman; I trained with guns and I am a shooter, I love shooting since my days back in England.  

“I like target shooting; not people (laughter), and I have worked with the Forces before. So, I have many sides to me. Not that I am a comedian.  Look, Jesus Christ’s disciples were not all good people. Amongst those 12 disciples, we had murderers, rapists and other bad people; but He worked with them all. I am not saying I am Jesus Christ, but if Jesus Christ can work with them all, who is John Fashanu?” He submitted.

As one who had represented UNICEF for many years, he should be in a position to talk about the alleged case of child-trafficking/slavery involving former Nigerian international, Jonathan Akpoborie; whose vessel, MV Etireno, was alleged to have been involved in the unfortunate act over 12 years ago. The case seemed never to have been fully resolved. “I was UNICEF spokesperson and Ambassador for 15 years. I know about the case as much as I read in the papers. It would be very unfair to comment on the matter. But obviously, I feel for Jonathan Akpoborie. The news was devastating. The matter has to be rounded up and closed before he can move ahead in life. It is going to be a challenge in his life,” he concluded.

Don Jazzy gives away another N.1m on Twitter

Those who know Nigeria’s multi talented producer, Don Jazzy well can testify to the fact that he has a habit of dabbling into stunning philanthropic gestures right out of the blues.

It therefore didn’t come as a total surprise when he recently gave a fan N100, 000 on Twitter.

Of course he gave out N100,000 and all the lucky person who got the cash did as retweet his ‘full stop.’ Yep! That was all that was required to earn N.1 million. Yeah! Just like that.

With a gesture like that, Don Jazzy has tactically secured a large flow or re-tweets in the coming days.